When I became a mum for the first time, I discovered that the real challenge was not the sleepless nights. It was not the non-stop feeding, the nappy changes, the crying. All of that was hard. But nothing compared to the mental agony of wondering whether I was doing motherhood right.
Being Nigerian added a particular flavour to it. Nigerians do not ask if you want advice. They give it, usually with a generous helping of love and complete confidence that they are correct. Then there was the comparison. Friends whose babies were born around the same time as my first. Milestones I was quietly tracking whether I meant to or not.
My son did not cut his first tooth until after he turned one. I genuinely had visions of a teenager with no teeth.
I went on to have three more boys. And somewhere between son number one and son number four, I became an expert at letting those thoughts go. Son number one did eventually cut his teeth, for what it is worth. 😄
I share this because at The Baby Cot Shop, one of my greatest joys is speaking to new and expectant mums. And what I want you to hear is this: the mental gymnastics are completely normal. Your instincts are functioning well. You are doing better than you think.
As my sixteen year old would say, it is really not that deep.
Trust yourself. You have got this. And whenever you need a little reassurance or just want to talk, we are here.
Toks 🌸